The Real Housewife of Santa Monica

Make lemon ice cubes!

Here’s what you need:

YOU NEED:
lemons (duh!)
a sharp knife
a mesh strainer
an ice cube tray or two
a freezer safe container to store your cubes

Lemons, lemons…lemons,,,,,lemons_____lemons!!!! I love juicy lemons!!!

1. Squeeze your lemons.
Talk about a hand cramp!

2. Strain out the seeds over an ice cube tray.

3. Freeze.

4. Store in a freezer safe container.

I’m not sure this is the best storage method – I’d love to hear other opinions on this???

5. Drop ‘em in any drink to which you’d would normally add a lemon slice (iced tea, diet coke, sparkling water etc). OR let them melt & use for cooking/baking when lemons aren’t in season. YUM!

I know, I know, this sounds sort of “austere.” You’ve got to trust me on this one.

My neighbor, Aileen, gave me this head of cabbage and I was wondering how much SLAW my family can eat. But I also had a few potatoes and this can of beans. I knew there were a few really simple recipes in my fave cookbook. Sure enough!

Honestly, I was really bored with this recipe thinking about how unappealing it was How surprised I was to keep eating & eating this! This is yummy!! This is filling!!! This is nutritious!!! Best of all this is easy to make & tasty the next day too!!

All you need:

INGREDIENTS:
2 TBSP olive oil
4 oz potatoes, scrubbed, unpeeled & cubed
salt
1 large shallot, sliced finely
1-15oz can white beans (or chick peas if that’s all you have!)
3 c finely shredded green cabbage
grated parmesan cheese

Don’t be fooled by how simple this is, it’s still sooooo satisfying yet you won’t have the sick gluttonous feeling you can get after a heavy meal. And perfect to take to work…

1. Heat olive oil on medium high in a large skillet. Add the potatoes & a pinch of salt.

Cook until potatoes are brown taking care to toss or turn potatoes every few minutes. This should take about 8 minutes.

2. Add the shallots & beans. Brown the beans, being sure to scrape & combine the browned bits every few minutes.

3. Once beans are somewhat browned, add the cabbage. Don’t be alarmed by the volume of the cabbage – it will reduce as it cooks down. Stir to coat with the oil and browned bits as that’s the tasty stuff!

Salt & pepper to taste!

4. Serve with sprinkled parmesan to taste.

Source: Super Natural Every Day (ingredients slightly altered for simplicity)

My blog is backed up with recipes, LA Family activities, park recommendations, and even a “How to Paint Stripes on Your Ceiling Tutorial” that I need to post but since my in-laws left my kids have been glued to my side. Hell, they’re glued to my side, front, and back (including the older one who is sitting behind me in this small chair at my desk, like, right NOW.) about 12 hours of the day. 2 hours are devoted solely to cleaning up the mess left by the Bea-dozer and trying to catch a Real Housewives or Shahs of Sunset episode here & there. Still, knowing this special time at home with them is so fleeting, I really don’t want to keep pushing them away so I can sit here typing a blog even though it’s such a fun outlet for me. The kids are so silly, inquisitive, entertaining (oh yeah, and infuriating) that I want to be here for all (ahem, most) of it.

Anyway, I’d planned on doing my Easter post but *someone* took the camera to an all-night shoot so I’ll do these easy, oh so yummy sesame noodles instead! These are great for when you’re in a pinch (as I am every other night or so…).

You prolly have all these ingredients:

and this:

INGREDIENTS:
12 oz thin noodles (I used whole wheat spaghetti but you can use soba or another kind of Asian noodle or whatever you like)
1/4 c soy sauce
2 TBSP sugar (or maple syrup)
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 TBSP rice vinegar
3 TBSP pure sesame oil
1/2 tsp hot chili oil
4 TBSP canola or vegetable oil
4 green onions, sliced thin

NOTE: if you don’t have all these ingredients, go and get them! You should be able to find them at your regular grocery store in the Asian aisle. Even if you are put off by buying all these ingredients for a supposedly simple dish, you’ll be glad you have them as I promise, you’ll make these noodles like once a week until time immemorial. Trust me!

Holy cow – look it how much soy sauce I bought! I go through this stuff crazy fast.

This dish is really easy! I make these once a week or so for the girls and then I eat half of them, from a standing position behind the counter. They’re not going to trick me into sitting down with them so that the second my bum hits the chair they ask me for something. Fool me once…shame on me, fool me twice, well, you & G.W.Bush know the rest.

1. Set some water to boil.

2. Whisk together the dressing/sauce ingredients.

Taste the sauce & adjust any ingredients to your liking. For instance, if you like it spicier you might want to add more hot chili oil. Or if you like it sweeter, more sugar.

3. Add your noodles to the water.

4. Slice your green onions.

5. Drain your noodles. Really shake them & try to get the water out by tossing them in the air gently a few times.

6. Return noodles to pot and drizzle about 3/4ths of the sauce over the noodles & toss. I reserve about 1/4th of the sauce to drizzle over each person’s bowl when serving. Add green onions & toss. Unless you find it painful to watch your kids pick out each and every green onion. Then just hold those back for your bowl.

Yes, it’s 6PM here in Santa Monica. Love it when summer’s on its way!

I swear, we DO own a hairbrush!

Maddie’s name this week was “Furten” (rhymes with “curtain”) but today it’s “Caston.”

Source: The Pioneer Woman

Let me start this post by saying I made G a double layer ice cream cake for his bday last weekend. Eating that cake was the second most excited I saw him in the last 2 days. The MOST excited was when the Kentucky Wildcats won the NCAA championship last night. GO CATS!!!!

Last night I was heading to Hooters (where I, incidentally, ate some fried pickles) to watch the game with him so I had to throw together a quick dinner for the girls. This is the fastest pasta dish in the world.

SO easy. Everything is available at Trader Joe’s. In fact, I got this idea from Trader Joe’s as they used to have a pasta in a box with these ingredients except you had to add a whole s-ton of olive oil & water to the dehydrated stuff for the dressing. M used to love it but all good things came to an end as they do at TJ’s and they no longer sell it.

1. Chop pitted olives as small as you like them. Same with the tomatoes. Mine came julienned so I just left them alone!

2. Cook your pasta of choice according to package directions.

3. Drain pasta & then return to pot. Add the olives, tomatoes & a handful of crumbled feta.

Toss & salt to taste. I added a couple of tablespoons of olive oil too!

Not the prettiest dish but VERY tasty & simple!

I have this new favorite cookbook – “Super Natural Every Day” and I am always daydreaming about the recipes. Sometimes I get caught up on ingredients I am missing but today I said “What the hey?” and made this otsu with what I had on hand. You’ll see firsthand where I made a mistake learned something.

Btw: this has TOFU in it. People have different reactions to tofu as a foodstuff depending on their experience or non-experience with it. If you’ve never tried it and are scared (is scared too strong a word?) I urge you to challenge yourself to go out of your comfort zone. Anyone who knows my husband, G, knows that he is a self-proclaimed “meat-a-tarian” with a limited palate. But he likes fried tofu. Hell, he likes fried anything pretty much. Anyway, the tofu in this dish is fried and my kids love it. It’s NOT slimy! It’s like a french fry. (Yuuuummmm, french fries!!!!) Anyway, you have to laugh at the irony of being scared of a plant based product but eating dead animals without hesitation. Especially when you think about what those animals are being fed and what is being injected into them to make them fat as well as to keep them alive despite pretty gnarly conditions. Enough with my (run-on) rant. Try this tofu! What’s the worst thing that can happen?

This is an amazing dish – the wholesome buckwheat noodles are coated in a complexly flavored sesame paste. Tofu rounds out the dish.

YOU NEED:

INGREDIENTS:
1 tsp pine nuts (if you don’t have pine nuts, double the sunflower seeds)
1 tsp sunflower seeds
1/2 c sesame seeds
1-1/2 TBSP sugar
1-1/2 TBSP soy sauce or tamari
1-1/2 tsp mirin (Japanese sake – I got it at Ralph’s)
scant 1 TBSP toasted sesame oil
2 TBSP rice vinegar
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
sea salt
12 oz soba noodles
12 oz extra firm tofu
olive oil
1 bunch green onions, sliced thin on a diagonal

All the ingredients listed are from Ralph’s, Trader Joe’s, Costco or my garden. None are from specialty stores. I had the ingredients from my regular monthly/weekly shopping excursions.

**NOTE: as always, I changed some of the ingredients to make them more accessible. I’m not sure how Heidi Swanson would feel about it and I’m sure it changes the flavors but my goal is to make recipes do-able without going to any special stores just for that dish. When you have a 1-1/2 year old who refuses to sit in a shopping cart, responds to her carseat as it if were doused in battery acid, and delights in running down an aisle with her arm out to knock EVERY box of cereal off the shelf, more than a Xanax, you need to keep it simple.**

TOFU PREP TUTORIAL
If you’re not familiar with preparing tofu – this part is for you. If you’re an old pro – you will want to skip this section.

Tofu comes in a little pool of water. You need to get rid of most of that water before you fry it because you know what they say about oil and water? They don’t mix. In fact they splatter all over you. Also, think of the tofu as a sort of sponge for flavors. The more water you get out of it the more flavors it can absorb. In this recipe, you’re getting the water out for better frying since we’re just salting it.

Here’s my method:
- Remove the tofu from its package over the sink.
- Slice tofu in a few large flat pieces (3 or 4)
- Place slices together on half of a paper towel atop half of a kitchen towel (the paper towel keeps any grody fuzzies or bits & pieces that were on your kitchen towel from touching your tofu)

- Fold the the other half of the paper towel & kitchen towel over the top of the tofu, covering it completely.

- Place something heavy but not too heavy atop. I use a cast iron skillet. This presses the water out of the tofu and into the towels.

Try to press your tofu for about 15 minutes if you can.
After 15 minutes, you are ready to cut your tofu into whatever size pieces you’d like. I usually cut mine into 1×2″ pieces.

Ok. So anyway, press your tofu first thing.

Did you do it? Great! Let’s start…

1. Toast the pine nuts & sunflower seeds in a large skillet over medium heat. If you don’t have pine nuts, just substitute more sunflower seeds.
Be sure to toss them in the pan often. Those pine nuts can burn quickly! I should know, I just burned a bunch. After about a minute, add the sesame seeds.

The second you start smelling the sesame seeds, remove from heat. You are making the sesame paste now in case you didn’t realize it!

This year I’ve made it a personal challenge to make ice cream, bread, pesto, pastes (that is not a typo – I haven’t tried to make pasta yet), pizzas and soups all without an ice cream maker, bread machine, food processor, pizza stone or stand mixer. My opinion: you don’t NEED most of that stuff! That said, I WANT a pizza stone but as for all the other expensive stuff clogging up my tiny countertops – this appliances can s____ it! I do, however, concede to the usefulness of the mandolin which I also do not currently own. But that’s another story… Another WANT not a NEED.

Regardless & irregardless of what you have or don’t have, need or don’t need, you are about to make a paste that calls for a mortar & pestle but which I’m here to assure you can be made just as easily in a regular old grotty old blender. Here we go!

2. Crush seeds/nuts with a mortar pestle. What? You KNOW I don’t have one! I crushed them in my blender.

The seeds look like sand.

Damp sand.

3. Add the sugar, mirin, sesame oil, rice vinegar, and cayenne pepper to the “sand” mixture.

Stir to combine thoroughly & adjust any ingredients to your taste.

It should look something like this.

5. Bring a large pot of water to a boil. Read the soba noodles package direction before you go any further. They don’t cook like typical pasta.

The soba noodles will expand quite a lot so you really will need a large pot! Add salt to the water & cook according to package directions. **NOTE: save about 1/3 c of the cooking water just before draining.**

Drain the noodles when done & rinse under cold running water. (They will stick together in a huge clump if you don’t do that!)

6. Put your cut tofu into a bowl & toss with a little olive oil & salt.

Heat a large skillet to medium high and toss your tofu in there. This time I tossed in there helper skelter but usually I lay all my tofu out in neat lines as I find it easier to turn. Another instance of OCD which doesn’t seem to spill over into my housekeeping. Flip occasionally – tofu should be golden brown on all sides but not tough and chewy. Taste one to see how it is.

This is what it looks like as some of the sides are browned. You still want to try to brown those paler sides but if you miss some – no biggie.

Mmmmm a nice pile of fried tofu!

7. You’re almost done!! Save 1 heaping TBSP of the sesame paste.

Water down the rest with that 1/3 c of reserved pasta water. If you forgot to save it, just use 1/3 c of hot water. Transfer your soba to a large mixing bowl & pour the thinned paste/sauce over it along with half the green onions.

Toss to combine. Serve topped with a dollop of the sesame paste & green onions. Beautiful!

That reminds me! I forgot to tell you what I learned. When I started making this I realized I was out of sesame seed oil but I DID have some Hot Chili Sesame Seed Oil in my fridge. I thought, “I’ll just use half the amount.” The sesame paste definitely had a VERY noticeable kick to it after I did that. This really makes me mad sometimes! I spend a lot of time & energy on a dish only to do something to make it 100% inedible to the girls. You know, something like serve it with live snakes or add carrots. Or green onions. This time I played dumb about the spice factor but stealthily passed out unasked for cups of milk along with the food. AMAZING!! They both ate a lot. And drank a LOT of milk!

Next time I will use plain sesame seed oil… (Trader Joe’s has it cheapest btw.)